What It Is To Burn
by HyperActiveSpaceMonkey
Summary: After they left to join the Brotherhood, Morphine and Pyro's relationship was destroyed. Can they fix it before they're torn apart by a cruel twist of fate? Rated M for language and sexual content. PyroOC
1. Chapter 1

Okay, so I've been writing several X-Men fanfics lately, and this is the one that I feel is most ready to start being posted, so... yeah, just enjoy and leave me nice reviews.

Disclaimer: If I owned X-Men, then I wouldn't live in a shitass town in Texas and spend all my spare time writing nonprofit stories on now would I? I do, however, own Morphine.

**Chapter One**

"Watch where the hell you're going, Anholtz." John said as we bumped into each other on the way to breakfast. We were both late. Not an unusual happening.

"You watch it, asshole!" I yelled at him, deadening his left leg so he stumbled into a wall.

He abruptly turned to me with his lighter in one hand, and a ball of fire in the other.

I raised an eyebrow and slowly walked toward him, keeping eye contact. I kept going until I had him pressed against the wall and I closed my hand over his fire ball, extinguishing it.

"You forget, John, that I have talents, too."

I pressed my body into his and stared at him with my ice blue eyes, filling them with as much raw sexual emotion as possible.

"You forget, Morphine, that your seduction won't work on me." He said softly, leaning into my face, and working his way around me.

As he was strutting off down the hall I called after him, "Don't worry, Allerdyce, I'm really not all that concerned with seducing you anymore."

As he was turning the corner into the next hall, he looked back and smirked at me.

I continued on my way to the cafeteria and found my roommate, Kitty, standing in line with Lockheed draped around her shoulders.

"Late again, El." She mused, her gaze fixed on someone behind us.

"Early mornings just aren't my cup of tea." I replied, adjusting the many silver and black bangles on my wrists.

I turned to see who Kitty was so distracted by and saw Warren standing by himself near the back of the line.

I looked over at her and smirked.

"Ellie, no-" she started to say.

"Hey, Warren!" I beckoned for him to come stand with us.

He smiled and walked over to us.

Kitty's cheeks were glowing pink.

"You wanna sit with us?" I asked.

"Yeah, sure." He looked at Kitty and smiled.

It was people like that who made me sick. They both liked each other, but neither of them would tell the other. And they would make an adorable couple!

We got our trays and food and sat at a table on the far side of the large cafeteria.

I drank my chocolate milk quickly while Kitty and Warren were discussing Chuck Palahniuk books.

"Choke is my favorite." Kitty said popping a piece of hash brown into her mouth.

"Mine, too!" Warren beamed. "What about you, Ellie?"

"I prefer Haunted myself," I picked up my tray, "and Invisible Monsters."

"Where are you going?" Kitty asked.

"I have to finish my History homework." I lied. They needed some time alone. Enough of that can get any two people to become a couple. I knew that from experience.

I exited the cafeteria and was about to walk up the stairs when I heard someone whisper, "Just push her. She can't paralyze you if she's falling."

Oh, how much better life can be when you have a heightened sense of hearing.

I mounted the stairs and raised my hand to paralyze whoever it was.

I heard two bodies hit the floor and I jogged up the stairs.

The two guys on the floor were Hellion and Hydro. I didn't know them that well, but I had never done anything to them. And I knew why they were planning on harassing me. I figured I'd ask, anyways, though.

"And why would you want to push me down a flight of stairs?" I asked, lowering my hand so the numbness in their bodies would wear off.

They both stood up and stared at me angrily.

"Take a wild guess, bitch." Hellion said.

"Look, I don't know whether you hate me because of who my uncle was or because I joined the Brotherhood, it's so hard to keep up these days, but I have no choice of who I'm related to, and he's dead now anyways so it doesn't matter. Thanks to Magneto, he's dead. So get over it. I have never been much of a fan of my Uncle Robert or Magneto."

"Senator Kelly wasn't that much of a problem to begin with. All he did was pull all that bullshit about the Registration Act. Who cares if he's dead? And you sure don't seem to dislike Magneto _that_ much since you joined the fucking Brotherhood." Hydro spat.

"Notice that I'm not in the Brotherhood _now_. I left and came back here by my own free will."

"Whatever, you're still a fucking traitor, and I'll get you for what you and Magneto did. The bad reputation you've given to us all!"

"Well then technically, you should work on getting back at John Allerdyce, as well, because he was Magneto's right hand man, you know." I said sarcastically.

Hellion cracked his knuckles, as if he was actually attempting to scare me.

"Oh, fuck you!" I said, exasperatedly.

I walked off down the hall, into my room, and locked the door behind me.

I plopped myself down on my bed and pulled my laptop off my dresser, into my lap.

I opened it and signed onto AIM.

A few seconds later an IM window popped up.

**Ic3manDrak3 :** hey, Ellie.

**Morphine x:** um, hey Bobby.

**Ic3manDrak3: **I'm sorry about what Hellion and Hydro just did.

**Morphine x:** you saw?

**Ic3manDrak3:** no, Hellion just told me about it

**morphine x:** well, that's nice of him.

**Ic3manDrak3: **I'm glad you came back.

**Morphine x:** not glad that Rouge came back?

**Ic3manDrak3:** of course I am, but she was only gone long enough to get the cure. you left to join the Brotherhood.

**Morphine x:** they disbanded, and I was sick of being used just because I have powers that can take anyone down.

**Ic3manDrak3:** meet me in the garden. I really want to talk to you.

**Morphine x: **okay, I'll see you in a minute.

I put up an away message and slung my purse over my arm, exiting my room and going down the back staircase into the garden. I jogged to the center to sit in the gazebo in the center, and I saw Bobby walking across the lawn towards me.

Before John and I left to join the Brotherhood, I roomed with Rouge and John roomed with Bobby.

We were all good friends, no matter how shitty John treated us.

Before Rouge came to Xavier's, Bobby had liked me, but as soon as they met Bobby fell for her, which didn't bother me, because I had never thought of Bobby as any more than a friend.

"Hey, popsicle." I greeted jokingly.

"Ellie," he said sitting next to me.

"What did you want to talk about?" I asked.

"You and _him_ have been back for almost two months and you and I have barely said anything to each other."

I looked away and then back to Bobby, feeling ashamed that I had been ignoring him.

His crystal blue eyes were filled with a look of immense sadness.

"Don't go back to John, you could do so much better." He said.

I felt my eyes well up with tears, but blinked them away.

John and I were together for three months. The day that he walked out of that jet he ruined all we had, without realizing it.

I went with him, because I cared about him. I was going to make sure he didn't get hurt.

Magneto offered to take me and John into the Brotherhood and make us important, and John accepted. I felt I had no choice but to go with him.

Magneto took John and helped him further develop his powers. Mystique made me to her what John was to Magneto. She taught me to overcome all my weaknesses by using my numbing and paralyzing. No one could drown me, knock me out, catch me... or burn me.

When Mystique was shot with the cure, and Magneto disowned her, I took her place. John always at Magneto's right side, I at his left.

Pyro and I never spoke to each other like we did before. It was like he had forgotten how he felt about me entirely.

When Magneto was given the cure, the Brotherhood disbanded.

John and I had nowhere to go, except back to Xavier's.

Storm was reluctant to take us back, but she knew Xavier would never have wanted her to turn us away.

"I don't know what happened to him, Bobby."

He sighed, I could tell that he was irritated with my love for John, and angry that he had come back with me. "I guess the power just got to him. People change when they move up in the chain of command. He'll never change now." He paused and looked me deep in the eyes. I felt I was drowning in those shining, blue pools of beauty and emotion. "Let me kiss you, Ellie."

"Bobby, you have a girlfr-" I was cut off by Bobby's lips pressing into mine. The kiss deepened for only a moment, and I felt a cold rush of air fill my mouth.

I pulled away and looked back up at Bobby.

"I... I'm sorry, El. I just... I don't know. I shouldn't have done that, I've just wanted you for so long... And... I know you'll be going back to _Pyro_, no matter what I tell you... I just wanted one kiss before that happens."

"What makes you so sure I'll be getting him back?" I asked.

"Because you love him. Love will _always_ find a way."

The bell rang for classes to start, and I bade Bobby an awkward goodbye, and went back to my room to get my bag, when I realized that he was right.

Love _will_ always find a way.

---

Please don't flame, and if you absolutely insist on it, then at least make it constructive criticism. I'll get the next chapter up when I get enough reviews to make me happy.


	2. Chapter 2

Alas, chapter two. It has arrived sooner than I expected, but more chapters means more reviews, so I'm not bothered.

Disclaimer: Don't own it. But if someone wants to buy me Aaron Stanford, I'd be thrilled. :-)

**Chapter Two**

First period was art with Professor Logan, which was the only class I had where we were given assigned seats.

Guess who he sat me next to.

_Click. Snap._

_Click. Snap._

_Click. Snap._

John was already in his seat, leaned back with the chair on two legs, making it impossible for me to get to my seat.

I stood next to him for a minute, and he still didn't move.

I cleared my throat and he looked at me, but still didn't move.

"John," I said, and he _still_ didn't move.

_Click. Snap._

_Click. Snap._

_Click. Snap._

Professor Logan walked into the room and sat at his desk. "Pyro, quit being a pain in the ass and let her sit down."

_Click. Snap._

John leaned his chair back onto all four legs and scooted back against the table behind him, so I had to squeeze between him and our table.

He leaned back and looked at me slyly and I turned toward the front of the class, so I wouldn't have to look at him as I was pressed against his legs.

I felt slight pressure on my ass as I was passing through, and whipped my head around to see John's fingers hovering next to my backside. He looked impatient.

"Keep going, Morphine." He said, raising his eyebrows.

It's amazing how much you can love someone who is such an ass to you.

"You are a cheeky bastard." I said, plopping down in my chair.

John moved his face to my ear and whispered, "It's not a crime to think you have a nice ass."

"But I'm pretty sure that _touching _it is a little thing called sexual harassment." I whispered back.

"Speaking of _touching_, I saw you and Bobby going at it earlier." John teased angrily.

"He kissed me, not that it's any of your business." I could feel my cheeks burning with embarrassment.

"What, you don't have a thing for Iceman? Or would you rather be with someone a little," he paused, flicking his lighter open and waving a flame in front of my face, "hotter?"

I snorted at his pun, and he leaned back in his chair. "Why, you offering?" I asked sarcastically.

"If I say yes, will you be on top?"

I tried to look away, but I couldn't. He touched my arm and sent a wave of heat over it. "Why do you have to make this so hard for me?" I asked, and scooted my chair over so he couldn't reach me.

He turned back to the front of the class with a satisfied look on his face.

"Today we will be doing a partner assignment, and it will prove how observant you are." Logan said, getting up and sitting on his desk. "Your partner will be the person sitting next to you. You will go to one of the easels, one of you on each side, so you can't see each other. You will use a charcoal pencil to sketch a headshot of your partner, and they will do the same for you."

I looked over at John. He was smirking at me.

"You are not allowed to look at your partner while you're drawing them, you have to draw from memory. Everyone get to your easel and get started." Logan finished,

Across the class one of the guys who hung out with Hydro and Hellion raised his hand.

"What?" Asked Logan.

"Are you sure it's a good idea to make the traitors partners? They shouldn't be together, since they don't even _deserve_ to be back here. For all you know, they could still be working for Magneto, and only be here to carry through with some scheme to destroy the institute." He started laughing at his own joke, hoping other people would join him.

No one laughed, and Logan's face twisted into an angry sneer. "As long as they take you out first when they carry through with their evil plot, it's okay with me. Get out of my class, Trip."

He got up from his seat and exited the classroom, slamming the door behind him.

The class was silent as everyone moved to their easels and began drawing.

I knew exactly was John looked like. I was able to capture every detail of his face.

The four freckles on his face; one on his left cheek, one under his right eye, one under the left side of his lip, one on the right side of his chin.

The complexity of the colors in his eyes. How they faded from dark around the edges, to light in the middle.

The fullness of his pouty lips.

The small section of hair that always fell down in his eyes.

The dimples in his cheeks when he smiled.

"Time's almost up." Logan called.

I had lost track of time, and I was mindlessly shading in his hair and sideburns.

I finished quickly, signed my name at the bottom, and put my pencil down.

A few minutes later, Logan instructed everyone to take their drawing back to their seat, so he could decided whose was best.

I had mine face down on my desk, and John looked over at me and stared until I looked back at him.

"Do I not get to see it? It can't be _that_ bad." He asked.

I looked over at his picture of me. It was perfect. My long hair was outlined, but not shaded in, because it's such a pale shade of blonde, my eyes weren't colored in, but from the way he drew and shaded them you could tell that they were supposed to be ice blue, my eyebrows were even and arched, my nose was small, with the bump in the middle I got from breaking it in a session in the danger room, and my lips were the perfect shape and size, with the corners turned up into a kind of smirk. He even drew the necklace I always wore. A silver chain with a jeweled star dangling from it.

"I... I didn't even know you could draw..." I said, stunned.

He grinned slyly at my speechlessness. "Do I get to see yours now?"

I nodded and turned it over.

He stared at it for a moment and looked back at me. For a moment I saw that look in his eyes... the one he used to have all the time when he looked at me...

I could feel the barriers I built up to keep John from hurting me again crash to the ground, as I lost myself in his captivating hazel eyes.

"Ellie," he said as what appeared to be a reflex, and I felt a pang of intense happiness. My heart skipped a beat.

"John, I-" I didn't know what I was going to say, but whatever was going to come out was overtaken by a painful memory that entered my mind.

**-Flashback-**

_I descended the stairs into the entry room of Magneto's mansion and saw John sitting on a couch reading. I sat next to him and he set the book, Fahrenheit 451, down on the arm of the couch._

"_What?" He asked._

"_John, why don't you love me anymore?" I asked, tears sliding down my cheeks._

"_Look, _Morphine_, first of all, it's Pyro. And secondly, I don't have time for that nonsense right now. Magneto has given me a lot of important duties."_

_My heart sunk to my knees. I felt like I'd been slapped. _Morphine? _He had never called me Morphine before. Always Ellie. I felt hurt, disrespected, betrayed._

"_But you have time to read a book about firefighters whose job is to set fires to burn books?" I started crying harder._

"_Morphine," I heard Juggernaut's deep accented voice call from the top of the stairs._

"_Yes?" I wiped away my tears and looked at him._

"_It's time for training."_

_I looked back at John and for a second, looking for some emotion in his eyes, but he picked up his book and continued reading._

"_I wish you could understand what you're doing to me." I said as I went back upstairs._

"Alright, let's see your pictures." Logan's voice interrupted my reminiscing.

He looked at them both for a minute and smiled. "These are great, but you made one major error in yours, Morphine."

"What?" I asked nervously.

"Pyro doesn't ever smile." He replied.

I laughed and thanked him as he moved on to look at the next pictures.

"John, I know this is random, but what's the name of the main character in Fahrenheit 451?"

"What?" He asked.

_Click. Snap._

_Click. Snap._

_Click. Snap._

"Do you not know?"

"I've never heard of Fahrenheit 451." He said, in an annoyed voice.

I turned back around and gasped. Reality hit me over the face like a bag of bricks.

"Mystique," I whispered to myself.

"What?" John asked.

Mystique had fucked her over.

"That bitch." I cursed her.

"What the fuck are you talking about?" John asked, louder.

"The best pictures in here are Pyro and Morphine's, so everyone else, you get an 80 for your daily grade, Pyro and Morphine, you both get a 100." Logan said as the bell rang for second period.

"John, wait!" I called as he picked up his picture and started to walk off. "Will you meet me somewhere to talk tonight?" I asked.

"Uh... yeah, I guess."

"In the garden? After dinner?" I picked up my drawing and zipped my backpack.

"Yeah," John held up his picture, "do you want this?"

I took it, thanked him, and held mine out, "You can have mine."

He took it and jogged off down the hall.

I smiled to myself and ran downstairs to my room to put the picture on my dresser, pulled my hair into a ponytail, and changed into my X-Men uniform.

I took the elevator to the underground floor for my defense class with Storm. I went to the Danger Room, and sat with my team; Kitty, with Lockheed at her feet, Leech, Colossus, Jubilee, and Siryn. On the other side of the room was the team we fought against every class; John, Bobby, Sway, Spike, Hellion, and Rouge.

Storm turned on the PA system from inside the observation room. "We're doing the mountain battlefield today. Your objective is to knock off all the members of the opposite team. You know the rules, no fatal blows and no shots to the face, these people aren't the real enemy; they are your classmates."

She hit the start button and the room turned into a 20 by 20 foot rocky area with sloping sides and a lake at the bottom. Both teams readied themselves. The alarm sounded and everyone started running for someone on the opposite team.

Hellion ran right into me, knocking me on the ground, into a sharp rock. I turned over and raised my hand, paralyzing him from the waist down. He stumbled to the ground, inches away from the edge of the cliff. He levitated a loose rock and made it zoom right for my head. Kitty dove for me and grabbed me, making the rock phase through us both.

"Thanks," I called and we both got off the floor.

Hellion went after Kitty and John came running towards me. I saw a large flame coming toward me and I made a numbing force field around my body. The fire wrapped around it and burned out.

"You need any help, Morphine?" Colossus asked, knocking Bobby back when he was about to freeze him.

"No, I can handle him, Piotr." I did a round off into a back handspring and kicked John in the chest.

He fell down, but quickly got back up and picked me up. He was about to throw me, but I paralyzed him, causing him to drop me and fall on top of me.

"Dammit, Ellie." He said, trying to lift himself up, but finding he couldn't move his arms.

My heart palpitated, skipping a beat. He called me Ellie again.

"Sorry," I said, embarrassed that he was on top of me, so close to my face. I released the paralysis from his limbs and he got up and dusted himself off, going to fight Leech.

As Spike was running past, he shot a handful of spines at me, and they all stuck into my shoulder. I numbed my shoulder, and yanked them out.

"You son of a bitch!" I yelled, paralyzing him as he was running along the edge of the cliff. He fell and tumbled off the side.

I looked to my left; Siryn and Rouge were trying to wrestle the other off the side.

To my right, Hellion was sending rocks flying at Kitty, who was phasing through them all. She phased into the ground, and came up under him, knocking him to his feet. He grabbed her ankles, making her fall, but she phased into the ground and phased right back up a few feet away.

I ran toward Hellion, who was halfway through getting off the ground, grabbed both sides of his head, and kneed him in the face. He landed on his back and used his arms and back to push himself at me with both feet out. I grabbed his calves and flipped him over so he landed with a _thud_ on his front side.

"I guess it's a good thing Magneto taught me how to fight." I said sardonically, paralyzing him, dragging him to the edge, and pushing him off.

I turned around in time to see John shoot a large flame at Leech, sending him toppling off the edge.

Siryn was missing, and Jubilee was shooting fireworks at Rouge and Sway, who both backed up so far that they fell off.

Bobby froze the ground where Jubilee was standing and she slipped and slid off the edge.

Bobby aimed his hand at me, and was about to shoot sharp ice crystals at me, but John bumped into him so he missed at hit Colossus. The crystals bounced off his armored chest and clinked onto the rocky ground.

"What the hell, Pyro?!" Bobby yelled angrily.

Bobby shot a stream of ice at me, coating the whole front side of my body so it was frozen solid. Kitty grabbed the back of my arm and phased me through it. The shell of ice fell to the ground and shattered.

I looked over and saw John aiming at Kitty, and I wrapped my arms around her and put a numbing force field around us both.

I backed away from Kitty after the fire had burnt out and I had the wind knocked out of me by a hard rush of ice. I fell down and Bobby shot a strong snowy wind at me, rolling me to the edge of the cliff. I grabbed it just before I fell and started pulling myself back up.

Kitty tackled John and started hitting him in the chest. She grabbed his arms and rolled over, pushing him right towards me. My hands slipped out from under me and my ribs impacted with the cliff's sharp edge. I screamed out in agony and numbed my torso to get rid of the throbbing pain.

John tumbled off the edge, and he hit me on his way down, causing me to fall down right after him.

We fell a few feet and the large river turned into pixels, then disappeared. We both hit the thick mat at the bottom at the same time. I started to roll over, but realized it was a bad idea if I had cracked my ribs.

"I think my ribs are broken." I moaned.

John turned around to see me laying there and looked up and saw Bobby falling.

He put one arm under my knees and the other under my arms and picked me up, getting me out of the way just before Bobby hit the mat.

The alarm sounded again and Colossus and Kitty jumped down onto the mat.

"That's right, four sessions in a row." Kitty said, bursting into dance.

"Yeah, yeah, quit bragging." Sway said, wiping sweat from her forehead.

Storm came into the Danger Room and congratulated our team for winning.

"Morphine, are you okay?"

"I'll be fine." I said, waving my hand to dismiss her concern.

"Morphine, Kitty, great teamwork, but you need to start helping your whole team, instead of just each other. Pyro, you got plenty of _cheap shots_ in on Jimmy. Bobby, you should use your powers less and do some more hand to hand combat. Hellion, you are being way too violet. Need I remind you that they aren't the enemy, this is just practice."

Hellion scowled at her. "Well, not _all_ of them are the enemy."

"Fuck you!" John and I yelled at the same. He almost dropped me, so I wrapped my arms around his neck as an impulse, but instantly regretted it as I felt my cheeks turn red.

"John Allerdyce, Eleanor Anholtz, watch your language!" Storm scolded. "And Hellion, I've had enough of your hatred for Pyro and Morphine. Detention for all three of you. Tomorrow morning after breakfast. Come on, Pyro, let's take Morphine to the hospital ward."


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: The only character I own is Morphine.

**Chapter Three**

Class was dismissed and John carried me to the hospital wing, where Storm took X-Rays of my ribs.

"You have a pretty bad break, but unfortunately, there's nothing we can do to fix it, because in order to heal a break, it needs to be immobile so it _can_ heal, and your ribs expand and contract as you breathe, so you just have to wait it out." Storm said.

She wrapped my abdomen in a tight bandage, gave me a bottle of hydrocodone for any pain that I couldn't get rid of myself, and told me to move as little as possible.

"After you eat lunch, you can go back to your room and rest until dinner."

John, who had been waiting off in the corner, helped me get to the cafeteria, where he went off to stand in line.

"Hey, Ellie, are you okay?" Kitty asked, coming up behind me with Warren at her side.

Lockheed jumped from Kitty's shoulders onto mine and nuzzled at my face, making a content sound in his throat.

"Lockheed was worried about you." Kitty said, chuckling.

"I'll be fine, just a little break. Nothing I can't numb away." I paused. "You know, I'm really not that hungry, so I'm just gonna go take a nap. Storm said I should rest all day."

"Lucky. I still have Chemistry and Algebra 2. Do you want me to bring you your Algebra 2 homework?"

"Yeah, that'd be nice. I'll see you guys later." I said, walking around them and out of the cafeteria.

I slowly ascended the stairs and walked down the hall into my room.

I took off my uniform and put on a pair of old faded jeans, a black undershirt, and a tight maroon hoodie. I pulled out my hair tie and shook my head, letting all my hair fall back into place.

I hung up the picture John drew above my bed, next to the large poster of Chris Martin, and stood staring at it for a minute, smiling.

My acoustic guitar was leaning against the foot of my bed, so I sat down cross-legged and picked it up. I put all my bangles on my left wrist, so they wouldn't scratch against the strings, and I played the intro to the song I had been learning; Skin, and I started singing.

"_I drift away to a place; another kind of life. Take away the pain, I create my paradise. Everything I've held has hit the wall. What used to be yours, isn't yours at all. Falling apart, and all that I'm asking; is it a crime, am I overreacting? Oh, he's under my skin. Just give me something to get rid of him. I've got a reason now to bury this alive; another little white lie. So what you had didn't fit among the pretty things. Never fear, never fear, I now know where you've been. Braids have been untied, as ribbons fall away. Leave the consequence, but my tears you'll taste. Falling apart, and all that I question; is this a dream or is this my lesson? Oh, he's under my skin. Just give me something to get rid of him. I've got a reason now to bury this alive; another little white lie. I don't believe I'll be alright. I don't believe I'll be okay. I don't believe how you've thrown me away. I do believe you didn't try. I do blame you for every lie. When I look in your eyes, I don't see mine. Oh, he's under my skin. Just give me something to get rid of him. I've got a reason now to bury this alive; another little white lie. Oh my permission to sin. You might have started my reckoning. I've got a reason now to bury him alive; another little white lie_."

I could feel myself starting to cry every time I sang the chorus. _Oh, he's under my skin._

My mind started to wander to thoughts of John and I, and I shook them away, and took Storm's advice, and took a nice, long nap.

Kitty came by before fourth period to ask if she could borrow my iPod. I let her have it and got out of bed.

I went into the bathroom and brushed my teeth, straightened my hair, fixed my makeup, and went back into my room.

I opened the bottom drawer of my dresser and pulled out the silver tin, closing the drawer and sitting down on my bed. I opened the tin and pulled out the pill bottle half full of Anadin Ecstasy. I took out two and swallowed them dry.

I put the bottle back in the tin, and took out a dime of blueberry dro. I put the tin back in the drawer and got out my glass pipe. I loaded a bowl and put the sack back in the drawer. I knew that one bowl was all I'd need in combination with two tabs of X.

I sat in the windowsill and smoked from the pipe until all that was left was resin, and went back inside to clean it out. I put it back in the drawer, went to get my iPod from my purse, and went outside to sit in the garden until the bell to dismiss last period rang.

It suddenly hit me how fucked up I was. Probably just from standing up too fast. I stumbled through my window and crawled into the bathroom, pulling myself up onto the counter and splashing water in my face.

I tried to look at myself in the mirror, but couldn't focus my eyes, so I staggered to my bed and laid down, staring at the ceiling.

Almost three hours later, I was starting to calm down, and was able to pull myself together enough that I could walk around. I could hear a faint ringing in my ears and my vision was all a slight blur.

I started to hear people out in the hall and went downstairs to dinner.

I got in line and few moments later I heard Rouge's voice from behind me.

"Hey, Morphine."

I turned around and smiled. "Hi."

"Are your ribs okay?"

"Broken, but I'll be fine."

"Does it hurt?"

"Nothing a little ganja hasn't helped." I said laughing.

"Still up to the old habits, then?" She laughed, too, obviously noticing the red showing in the whites of my eyes.

"Nothing could stop me."

I got my tray and food and started to walk off.

"Morphine," Rouge called, "it was good talking to you."

"You, too." I smiled at her and went to sit down with Kitty.

"Ellie, thank you so much!" She said, wrapping her arms around me as soon as I sat down.

"For what?"

"Getting Warren to sit with us this morning. He and I have been talking all day! I think he likes me!"

"I _know_ he likes you."

She smiled and sighed.

"Where is he, anyways?"

"Storm wanted to talk to him about a teaching position. It's been pretty tough to operate since we lost Scott, Jean, and the Professor."

"Yeah..." I let my voice trail off.

"Oh, here." Kitty pulled out my blue iPod and a packet of notes from Algebra 2.

I turned on my iPod to see what she was listening to last.

**Crest of Waves**

**Coldplay**

I smiled, turned it off, and stuck it back in my pocket. I introduced Kitty to a lot of the bands she ended up loving. Coldplay was one of them.

"I have to go outside now if I want to get to the garden with being seen."

"Okay," she took a bite of spaghetti, "I'll see you later. Warren wanted me to go to the library with him after dinner."

I took a piece of garlic bread and threw away my tray. I finished the bread on my way out the door, and went up to my room.

I put my sack and lighter in my pocket, and held my bong inside my hoodie.

I went down to the garden and sat under my favorite oak tree.

It was seven and the sun was almost down, making the whole garden glow a bluish silver.

I had loaded a bowl and taken four hits before John came up next to me.

"Nice bong, stoner."

"Thanks, it's new." I said sarcastically, dumping out the resin from the bowl and filling it halfway.

My old bong was black with pink scorpions on it, but I had to retire it and get a new one. My new one was purple with white lightening bolts on it.

"Did you ask me to come out here to get high with you or did you actually need to talk?"

"I actually need to talk, but you can have green if you want."

"No thanks, you know I prefer deuces." He replied.

"Suit yourself." I said taking the first hit and passing him the bong.

He hit it and asked what it was I wanted to talk about.

"I... I need to know... well... Why did we break up?"

"Are you _seriously _asking me that?" He asked, passing the bong back.

I took a long hit and pulled the bowl out, clearing the chamber, and putting the bowl back. "Well, yeah," I exhaled all the smoke out, "I mean; there should be another pretty good sized hit for you, by the way; I didn't want to join the Brotherhood, but I went with you, so I wouldn't lose you."

He took a hit. "This is cashed." He emptied the bowl. "You sure did pick a strange way to 'not lose me'."

"But you were the one who told me that you didn't love me anymore!" I cried.

"Uh, no, you were the one who told me that you wanted to break up."

"I never said that!"

"Yeah, you did."

"I think it was Mystique," I blurted out.

"Why would you think that?"

"The first time you ever called me Morphine you were sitting on the couch downstairs reading Fahrenheit 451 and I asked you why you didn't love me anymore and you said 'Look, _Morphine_, first of all, it's Pyro. And secondly, I don't have time for that nonsense right now. Magneto has given me a lot of important duties', but earlier you told me that you've never even heard of Fahrenheit 451!"

"Why would she want to break us up?"

"I don't know." I bit my bottom to keep it from quivering.

John lowered his head and rubbed his temples.

"John," I said, putting my hand on his arm.

"This is too much for me to have to think about right now." He got up and started to walk off.

"Wait!" I called.

"What?" He turned around to look at me.

I stood up and put my bong back in my jacket. "Kitty said she wouldn't be back until later because she's going to the library with Warren. Can you help me re-bandage my ribs?"

He exhaled slowly, "Sure, whatever."

I led him up to my room and put my bong back under my bed. I took off my jacket and pulled my shirt up.

John looked up and turned his head back quickly, his cheeks turning red.

"It's okay." I smiled. "Help me unwrap this."

He took out the safety pin holding the bandage on and pulled it off, throwing it on the floor.

My whole abdomen was bruised and a little swollen.

"That looks like it hurts."

"I'm sure it does." I replied.

"You have the most useful mutation."

"What, being able to sing and quote all of Rent verbatim?" I laughed.

"Well, as _amazing_ as that is, I wouldn't exactly call it a mutation." He replied cynically.

I handed him a clean linen bandage and he started to wrap it around me, as tight has he could.

"Can you still breathe alright?"

"Yeah, it's okay."

He was standing directly in front of me, so close my nose was almost touching his shirt. He had one hand on the left side of my waist, holding the bandage down, and the other was wrapping it around.

I inhaled his scent, a mixture of Fierce cologne and weed.

He had finished wrapping the bandage around me and he safety pinned it down. He started to push my shirt back down, but I wrapped my arms around him and started crying.

He jerked, but wrapped his arms around me a moment later.

"John, I still love you so much!" I cried into his chest.

"I know, Ellie, I know." He stroked the back of my hair and kissed my forehead.

"You don't love me anymore?" I looked up at him, into his eyes. I knew when he was lying when I could see his eyes.

"Ellie, you know I do."

"Then say it, John."

"I love you." He said under his breath.

"I can't hear you."

"I fucking love you, Eleanor Jayla Marie Anholtz!" He yelled, putting his hands on either side of my face, and pulling us together into a kiss.

I felt an immense warmth shoot through my body. I ran my fingers through his hair as his hands migrated down to my low back and stayed for a moment, before going further down and grasping the backs of my thighs.

I wrapped my arms around his neck and jumped up, wrapping my legs around him, and he held me up.

Our tongues danced together in a passionate fury, our bodies feeling what seemed to be a gravitational pull towards each others.

We slowed, and then John pulled his head back.

"Ellie, we shouldn't..." He set me down, so I then had to look up at him.

"What? Why not?"

"Something just feels so wrong about this."

I sighed, backed away, and sat down on my bed.

"Since when does John Allerdyce care about something being wrong?"

"Since now, apparently. I don't want..." He paused, as though absentmindedly searching for an answer to my question. "I don't want this to get messed up because we jumped back into it too fast. I don't want to get hurt again."

"_You?_" I scoffed.

He kneeled down in front of me and took my hands into his. "What do you want me to do?"

"Will... will you promise me that I won't regret wanting you back?"

"Yes. I promise." John kissed my forehead, something he hadn't done in so long, I forgot how good it made you feel.

We both smiled, and I stumbled back, but John caught me.

"John, I am so baked." I started laughing.

He laughed, too. "I know, El, I know."

"Goodnight, Ellie." He said, going to the door and opening it.

"Night, John." I said. "I love you."

I expected to hear the same in reply, but all I heard was the soft shutting of the door.

----------

Sorry it took so long, I've been really busy lately.

Alright, so review and I'll update again as soon as I can.

By the way, how was everyone's Halloween?


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer**: I don't own X-Men.

Sorry it's taken so long. Burleson High School is a vortex of stress and homework.

Enjoy. Or not. Just don't fucking flame me.

**Chapter Four**

Kitty woke me up for detention at 7 o'clock, which was, quite honestly, the last thing I wanted to do on a Saturday morning.

I pulled my hair up into a messy ponytail, pulled on some jeans, a black She Wants Revenge shirt, my maroon hoodie, and brown slip-on clogs.

I hardly had enough energy to worry with makeup or contacts, so I just put on my black, square-framed glasses, grabbed the book I had been assigned for English, Lord of the Flies, which I had already read three times, but was reading again anyways. I slung my purse over my arm and headed down to Storm's classroom.

She was sitting at her desk grading papers. Hellion, Siryn, and Wolfsbane were in desks on opposite ends of the classroom, and I took a seat in the back corner, next to the window.

John walked in. My heart fluttered and I had to force myself to turn back to my book.

He sat down one table to the left of mine.

_Click. Snap._

_Click. Snap._

_Click. Snap._

"Mr. Allerdyce, do you mind?" Storm asked, glaring at him.

"Not at all." He smirked. He slid the lighter into his pocket.

We all sat in complete silence for half an hour until Storm stood and announced that she was going to a meeting, Logan was down the hall and would check in on us every so often, and we would be allowed to leave when the bell rang for breakfast.

As soon as everyone was sure Storm was out of earshot, they all burst into conversation.

I wasn't a big fan of anyone in the classroom, so I pulled out my iPod and started listening to Psychobabble by Frou Frou, concentrating on my book.

A moment later I felt warm breath on my neck. I pulled the buds out of my ears and closed my book. "What do you want, John?"

"To talk to you."

"About?" I asked, exhaling.

He opened his mouth to say something, but stopped, raising his eyebrows. "Why are you being cold to me? What about last night?"

"What about it? The part where you stopped kissing me for no reason, or the part when I said I love you to you and you just walked out?"

"Oh come on, Ellie, I was high."

"So you're saying that you only told me you loved me to begin with because you were fucked up?"

"No! I'm saying that I wasn't thinking right, so I must not have heard you when you said it, and the only reason I didn't want to kiss you is because I felt like I was taking advantage of you because you were fucked up, too."

I shook my head. "You're a fucking liar, John Allerdyce. You promised me I wouldn't regret this!" I felt tears welling up in my eyes.

I couldn't let these people see me cry. I darted out the door, leaving my book and iPod on the table, but feeling too ashamed of the tears now streaming down my cheeks to go back and get them.

I ran all the way to my room, and grabbed the bottle of hydrocodone from my dresser and started shoving them in my mouth. I went into the bathroom and got water from the sink to swallow them.

I swallowed them all. A whole handful of them, over half the bottle.

Then I went to my bed and threw myself onto it, sobbing. I should have known John was going to hurt me.

"Stupid," I pounded my fist on my pillow, "I'm fucking stupid."

I laid there for I don't know how long, no longer crying, and I was feeling the effects of the many pills I had taken, when my door flew open.

I could feel my eyes drooping shut, and the sweat gathering on my forehead. Everything was moving in slow motion.

"Ellie!" John darted through the door and ran to my bedside.

I felt as though I was losing consciousness, until John picked me up and took off, holding me like a baby in his arms as he carried me down the halls and flights of stairs.

It was all a blur, but I felt John holding my hand, and someone else was there sticking needles and tubes into my nose and arms.

"She's losing consciousness. You have to keep her awake." Said a strong female voice that I knew belonged to Storm.

I was fighting to keep my eyes open, and the only thing that was keeping me up was John stroking my face.

"I'm sorry." I slurred weakly. "It was an accident."

He shook his head and his face contorted into an angry scowl. "No you're not. You're not sorry. You just _love_ that rush, don't you? All your stupid mind-altering substances that you're always doing."

"It's the only way I can feel good..."

"You know why you insist on getting _fucked up_ all the fucking time? Because you are so dissatisfied with your life that you want to numb it all away! When you and I were together, you barely ever smoked or anything. Why? Because you didn't want those memories to be a dull blur like the rest of your life will be. You were happy. And you know what? So was I! And if you die right now I will never be able to forgive myself for this. So don't you dare go out on me now, Eleanor Jayla Marie Anholtz. Don't you _fucking_ dare."

Storm didn't even scold him for his language. He was right. He was absolutely right, and it wasn't until that moment that I realized that that _was_ why I was such a junkie.

"We have to get this stuff out of her system or her heart is going to stop."

"Stay with me, Ellie." John whined. "Please stay with me."

I could no longer feel John's fingers on my face or his hand around mine. I couldn't feel anything until-

My eyes, which were sagging closed, shot open. A sudden warmth on my cheek. And then two more. John was crying. His tears slid down his cheeks and onto mine.

"I knew you still loved me." I whispered.

"Even the biggest assholes need someone to love." He joked, wiping his warm tears off my face.

"Don't leave me, John. I won't ever leave you." Was the last thing I could make out before my world went black.

------------

Review! The more you review, the more motivated I get to write new chapters.

Anyone got any exciting plans for Christmas?

I sure don't. I'm doing the same thing I do every year. Going to my aunt's in Louisiana Christmas Eve, staying through Christmas, and then leaving the next day, causing me to spend my birthday riding in the backseat of the car. Ew.

Yes, my birthday is, unfortunately, on the day after Christmas.

It's my 16th though! Yay for me.


	5. Chapter 5

Alright so I know it's been awhile and that's my bad.

Rough times.

You know how it goes.

So here you go. Here's the new chapter.

Warning: Lemon ahead.

**----------------------**

**Chapter Five**

I awoke to find John slumped over in the chair next to my hospital bed, his hand on my stomach and his head limply placed on the bed next to my arm.

"He's been here the whole time. I wasn't able to make him leave you." Storm said, bringing me a glass of water. "Here, drink this."

"I love him so much, Storm. But I don't want to get hurt."

"Life is full of pain, child. The pain you go through is just another experience that will make you a better person in the long run. You have to accept the bad with the good and take chances." She looked at John, who shifted and mumbled something in his sleep. "That boy cares about you, and as much of a bastard as he is, you need to give him a chance to prove himself to you."

I took John's hand in mine and a tear slid from my eye. "You're right, Storm. Thank you so much."

She nodded and walked out of the room.

"Wake up, John." I shook him slightly.

He inhaled sharply and his eyes opened. A moment later he raised his head. "You're awake." He stated in a cheerful tone, running his fingers through his hair and straightening up his shirt.

I nodded and scratched the back of my neck nervously. "I remember what you said. Did you mean it?"

He let out a sigh as he squeezed my hand and nodded. "I want to be with you again."

A paroxysm of joy shot through me. My heart felt as though it was beating faster and slower at the same time. "I love you. And I promise I won't tell anyone if you say it back." I smiled.

"Wouldn't want to ruin my reputation as super bad boy with a heart of stone." He laughed and stood up. I thought he was going to leave, but he leaned over me and planted a kiss on my forehead. "I love you, too."

A few hours later I was free to leave the hospital ward, so naturally I was in my room with John. He was lying on his back in my bed, and I was curled up next to him, my head on his chest and his arm around me.

"John,"

He made a 'hmm?' sound, followed by the ever-obnoxious 'C_lick. Snap.'_

"You were crying."

"What?" _Click. Snap._

I leaned my head on my arm and looked him in the eye. "I remember. In the hospital, you started crying."

He smiled a big, sarcastic smile and pocketed his lighter. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

"You're such an ass." I giggled, and straddled his lap, leaned down to kiss him.

"Oooh, I like this. Am I about to get lucky?" He said with a mocking sense of excitement.

"Maybe if you quit being such a cheeky bastard." I whispered in his ear, brushing my lips again his ear lobe.

He made a moaning noise in his throat. "Not fair." He grabbed the back of my hair at the scalp and guided my mouth to his. He parted my lips with his tongue and pushed his tongue into mine vigorously. I mimicked the action and reached for his belt buckle, ending the kiss for a moment to meet his eyes.

"Only if you want, babe." He said softly.

Was I ready to go all the way with him? Lord knows I wanted to. My heart was racing, but for a moment, locking eyes with John, I felt an overwhelming sense of security. I loved him. I was ready.

Instead of replying to him, I simply undid his leather belt and pulled it out of his pants, tossing it aside, the going for his gray t-shirt. He sat up and I pulled it over his head, dropping it on the floor as well.

His hands went for my tank top, lifting it up slowly, grazing my bandages with his fingertips as he pulled it off.

I pressed myself against him, enjoying the warmth of him against me, and kissed down his neck onto his shoulder, then pulling back, my fingers going for the button on his jeans.

I undid the button and zipper and pulled on the belt loops to slide them off. He raised his hips and I got them over his legs and onto the floor. I could see the outline of his semi-erect penis through his maroon boxers. I was about to take them off for him, but he reached for the buckle in the middle of my bra and undid it, exposing my breasts. I let the bra slide off my shoulders and flicked it off with my arm.

John's hands went to my hips and turned me over gently, laying me on my back, and diving for my chest. I felt his warm breath across my cleavage as he kissed up the inside of my breast, up my neck, stopping at my ear. "You are perfect."

I could now feel his manhood, fully hard, pressing against me, and I suddenly wanted him more.

He got off the bed and pulled off my pajama shorts and panties together, dropping them in the pile of clothes, also abandoning his boxers before he got back on the bed, hovering over me.

I knew it was going to hurt losing my virginity to John, after seeing the considerable size of his member, but I didn't care. I wanted to give myself to him completely.

"Ready?" He whispered.

I nodded and braced myself by grabbing his biceps.

He pushed apart my legs and lowered himself to my opening, barely touching it with the head of his penis.

Slowly and with some difficulty, he pushed himself in. I winced in pain as I felt my barrier pop, digging my fingers into his upper arms.

"It's okay, baby." He muttered, kissing my forehead.

He kept a steady pace, slow and gentle, for a few minutes, letting me get used to the feeling. Then he began to speed up, and I felt my walls contract in an orgasm.

As he thrust faster and harder, I began to raise my hips to meet him, with some difficulty at first, but then I numbed my ribs and continued with ease. Without warning, he pushed himself all the way into me. I let out a loud moan and came again, digging my nails into his shoulder blades.

"I love you." John said breathlessly.

"I love you, too, Johnny." I said, as a single tear ran down my face.

"Are you okay?" He slowed his pace again.

I nodded and pulled him closer, so our chests were touching.

He kept going slowly, but began to trust a bit harder, making me moan.

"Oh, John." I cried in ecstasy.

His breathing suddenly quickened and he groaned pleasurably, as I felt his warmth inside of me. He pulled out and collapsed next to me and I went to the bathroom to clean myself up, returning a minute later and cuddling up next to him, where he lay covered only from the waist down by a sheet.

"That was everything I ever expected it to be and more." I said, cuddling up next to him.

He smiled and looked at me with affection in his eyes. "I'm sorry about all the shit I put you through before. From now on, you are my everything."

"Except in public?" I asked, only half joking.

"Yeah, in public you're just my bitch."

My jaw dropped and I glared at him.

"I'm just kidding, El. Let 'em see what they want. We belong together."

The loud bell echoed through the halls, signaling that it was time for dinner.

"Shit." He muttered. He hugged me close for a minute, and then got out of the bed, turning and giving me his hand to help me up.

We both re-dressed quickly and went out into the busy hallway, towards the cafeteria. His hand was around my waist, and I was nestled in close to him.

"Deserters!" Came the voice of some random student behind us.

I simply raised my hand above my head, my middle finger up. Nothing could get me down right now. I looked up and John and smiled. A look of adoration graced his face and leaned down to kiss my forehead.

An overdramatic cough came from my right and I turned to see Bobby standing there, his face showed resentment and anger.

"Shove it, sno cone." John said simply.

Bobby's fist clenched and he turned off in the opposite direction, back to the rooms.

John and I went down the stairs and into the cafeteria, getting out dinner, chicken fingers, mashed potatoes, and a roll.

We found a table in the back and sat alone, across from each other with our feet entangled.

I picked a piece off my roll and dunked it into the mashed potatoes. "I have never felt this good in my life."

He smiled and exhaled. "You know," he paused to scratch his head, a bewildered look swelled on his face, "I haven't either. I can honestly say I have never felt like this."

"It's love." I said in a silly voice, giggling as I popped the piece of roll into my mouth.

We finished our meal in silence, giving each other smiles across the table.

As I was getting up from the table, John glanced down at my mostly full tray.

"I don't think you eat enough."

I sighed. I knew it. I didn't like to eat a lot. I had always felt some fault about my body and struggled with going for long periods of time eating little bits of food. "I know." I said simply.

He must of seen the pain in my face, so he didn't press the issue any further. He slipped his arm around my shoulders and walked me back to my room.

"I'll see you in the morning, El." He kissed my forehead and then my cheek, working his way to my lips where he kissed once and pulled me into a hug. "I love you."

"I love you, too." I entered my room and went straight for my dresser, pulling out the cigarette tin full of joints, retrieving one and slipping my jacket on, flipping up the hood.

I went out into the hall and outside, to the far side of the park, sitting under a large tree in front of the pond. A symphony of crickets and cicadas filled my ears and the cool wind tingled my face.

I pulled the purple lighter from my pocket and lit up the joint, puffing on it to get it going and then leaning back against the tree and relaxing my body.

I kept replaying the days happenings in my head and they still didn't seem real. Like it was a dream, but when I felt a hot ash hit my hand, I knew I wasn't.

"Shit." My free hand rubbed the spot and I hit the joint again, secretly cursing it.

I heard leaves crunching behind me and I didn't even bother turning to see who it was.

"Ellie, you out here? I saw you leave out the side door."

The voice belonged to Kitty and I was relieved. I stuck my hand around the side of the tree and flashed the joint for a light to show her where I was.

She came and sat next to me and pulled a pack of Camel No. 9 Menthols out of her pocket, which just so happened to be my favorite cigarette. She obviously knew that because she handed one to me, too. I tucked it behind my ear and continued taking drags from the joint.

"So you and John had fun today. I smelled it all through our room." She laughed.

"I had sex with him. I really lost my virginity to him. It seems so unreal."

"Well as long as you don't regret it."

"Of course I don't."

"Then there's no problem here." She smiled and lit up a cigarette.

I took the last drag from my joint and threw it into the pond, hearing it sizzle when it hit the water. I retrieved the cigarette from behind my ear and lit it up, breathing in the smoke and enjoying the cooling feeling.

"Where's Lockheed?"

"He's asleep under my bed."

"So what else is new." I took another drag and leaned back.

The only sound I heard for the next few minutes was the wind blowing through the trees and tall grass and the crickets and cicadas and bullfrogs and whatever the hell else was out there singing their songs.

I put out my cigarette before Kitty and told her I was going to bed.

I fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow and dreams of John enveloped my subconscious.

------------------------

Send your reviews.

You know the drill.


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer:** You know what I do and don't own.

This chapter is a bit long. I owe that to the fact that I'm prescribed Adderal, and I've been taking it while I write. I actually wrote this all in one sitting, it's just taken me awhile to get it to a point where I'm okay with posting it.

Enjoy.

Or don't.

Whatev.

**Chapter Six**

The next morning when I awoke Kitty was standing in front of the window, staring out across the thick green grass at all the students already out and about.

"I missed you so much when you were gone, Ellie. It's been getting to me so much lately, even though you're back for good. I was scared that you were never going to be my friend again."

"Dude, I wanted nothing more than to call you or write you to let you know I was okay, but Magneto didn't let us make contact with anyone outside of the Brotherhood, and he made sure it didn't happen. Mystique's favorite hobby is ruining relationships."

She turned her gaze to me. "While you were gone I defended your honor like it was my life. I never told you about this, but when Bobby was trying to hook up with me while Rouge was gone I finally saw through his shit after he told me that I was better off without you corrupting me."

"What a dick." I got out of bed and stripped completely down, discarding it all in my laundry basket.

"He told me that you had proven that you're incapable of being loyal."

I pulled an article of clothing out of each drawer in my dresser and threw them on the bed. "What a hypocrite." I put on the panties, jeans with both knees ripped and several various other holes, a black God Module t-shirt and the pink socks dotted with Hello Kitty's face. I slipped on my glasses that had been resting on my floor for some reason and slung my purse over my shoulder, sitting down on my bed to take a minute to numb away my aches and pains.

"I got revenge for you."

I started to look around for my shoes, but then stopped and paid full attention to Kitty. "Oh dude, I am dying to hear this."

"You know how obsessed Bobby is with his frosted tips and perfectly styled blonde locks?"

"It's borderline homosexual."

"I paid his roommate at the time 5 bucks to fill up his conditioner with Nair."

"No way." My eyebrows raised and a huge grin spread across my face.

"Oh yeah, man. I got that cocky SOB. He wore a beanie the entire time he was growing his hair back. He looked like a big blue eyed penis without the hat."

I let out a string of laughs. "Why did you never tell me about this? That's the funniest thing I've ever heard." I said as I reached under my bed, feeling for my shoes.

"Because he still doesn't know how it happened _and_ refuses to talk about it."

"Nice. You are an evil genius."

"Do you love it enough to skip breakfast with me and go into his room and unfold all of his shirts?"

I smacked my hand on my dresser and exuberantly said, "That's the best damn idea I've heard all day. Though admittedly, I've only been awake for 10 minutes."

"Any man who actually folds every article of clothing he owns, even his man panties, is just anal retentive enough to be asking for it."

The bell rang for breakfast and Kitty and I remained in our room. There was a knock on the door and I listened for their respirations. From just hearing an inhale and an exhale I knew it was John. I had memorized everything about him.

The butterflies in my stomach perked up and took flight as I felt myself turn into a shy little girl with a crush on the hottest boy in school. I opened the door and welcomed John with a flying straddle hug. He caught me by the undersides of both my thighs and I rested my arms around his neck. This time it was my turn to lean down and kiss him.

"Good morning, my lovely." He stated in a false British accent.

I smiled and planted a firm kiss on his lips. "You're adorable, my little cuddle bunny." I said in a baby voice as I rubbed my nose into his.

Kitty burst into laughter and John sighed as he pretended to throw me down. He only let go of me for a second, but it scared the hell out of me. I laughed anyways.

"Can I walk you to breakfast?" He asked, setting me down.

"Kitty and I are up to no good. We're skipping breakfast to cause mischief."

He let out a strong, deep laugh and ruffled the top of my hair. "Okay, El. Promise you'll have something to eat before the danger room course today."

"I will, John. Just for you." I smirked and kissed my first two fingers, touching them to John's lips and shutting the door back.

Kitty and I stayed in our room until the hallway outside was completely silent.

We speed walked down the hall and turned onto the adjacent one, stopping at the very last door before the next hall. I honed in my hearing on the room behind the door and heard nothing.

"We're clear, _gatito_. Let's go." I said with a goofy smile.

She grabbed my hand and we phased through the door. It may have been unlocked, but Kitty knows I love it when she phases me through solid objects.

When we were inside I saw the exact same room layout as everyone else's room. Two beds, two dressers, a bathroom door, and a window in the middle of the back wall.

Bobby started rooming with Alexander Summers, or Havoc, or brother of the recently deceased Scott Summers, after John and I left. They were two peas in a blond haired, blue eyed, narcissistic pod.

It was evident which side of the room was Bobby's. The bed was neatly made, there was no clutter anywhere, and the only thing on the wall was a picture of Rouge, tacked completely straight, perfectly positioned.

Alex's side of the room was what any normal guys personal space should look like. His covers were simply kicked to the end of his bed, his dresser drawers weren't pushed in all the way and clothes were leaking out of the crack. On the floor next to his dresser was two weights and a pair of already worn underwear.

"They would be the same person if it wasn't for the fact that Havoc isn't an uptight, bipolar bastard." Kitty said, examining the poster of a school girl above the messier of the beds. "Classy."

I opened up the top drawer of Bobby's dresser and took out all of the clothes, shaking out the straight creases they were folded on and returning them to the drawer in a wad of fabric. As I invaded his personal collection of clothes to bring out the color of his eyes Kitty went into the bathroom and started taking the various hair products out of their straight row and left them sitting in random places in the bathroom.

After she helped me disorganize the last drawer, we threw his blankets back and moved his pillow from the very center of the headboard to the ground, next to several unfolded shirts I couldn't stuff back into their drawers.

"I think we have accomplished our main objective." Kitty said eyeing the room.

"One more thing." I reached into my purse and got out an Expo marker, heading to the bathroom. Across the side of the mirror where Bobby's things were I wrote 'Cherish what you have. You never know when you might lose it.'

"Think he'll know what that means?" Kitty asked.

"If not, who cares, at least he'll be frantic about getting all of his shit back in order."

Kitty and I stealth-ran back to our room and began laughing as soon as the door shut behind us.

"I think we've earned ourselves a victory gloat." Kitty chuckled.

"Cigarette first, gloating later." I said simply, grabbing my guitar and exiting the room, following Kitty.

We took our usual back door exit to the garden, taking a seat under the oak tree. The ducks waddled down into the pond, where they floated around quacking at each other.

"Dude, where's Captain Morgan?" I asked, checking to make sure he hadn't waded into the pond with the others.

"I don't know, but there's Jack Daniels and Johnnie Walker." She pointed to the two white ducks ruffling up their feathers to one another.

"I love naming ducks after alcoholic beverages. It gets me through the day."

Kitty laughed and handed me a cigarette, passing me her lighter a moment later.

I put my guitar in my lap and started playing a random tune. The little black and brown duck with the green feathers around his neck poked his head out of the thicket of tall dead grass and came up to me and Kitty, making happy sounds as he waited for me to pull the baggie of crackers out of my purse, which he very clearly knew was there.

I held one out to him and he snatched it from my hand and devoured it, then shuffled closer to me. He sat down and tucked his head under his wing.

"Goodnight, Captain Morgan." I whispered as I laid my guitar back on the ground.

"That duck has very strange behavioral patterns."

"He first came up to me one night when I was out here on shrooms and I thought I was hallucinating him until you came out here and asked me why I was singing to a duck."

"Yeah, you said that he wanted to sign you to his record label." She giggled and leaned back against the tree, letting out a sigh.

"You're my best friend and I would do anything for you, man." I said giving her a playful punch in the leg. "BFF's!" I said in an overly girly voice.

When her only response was a smile and then a pensive look I felt like she was remembering the same thing I was.

-Flashback-

_On that fateful day at Alcatraz Island, Magneto had just sent out me and John to fight the people who had taken me and my brother in when we were kids and not only provided us with a home, but made it feel like it really was our home._

_As I descended into the battle zone I immediately began raising my hands to the X-Men around me, putting their limbs in a strong paralysis. I felt my stomach knot up and it started throbbing with pain. I let the tears freely stream from my eyes as I was forced to put people I had grown up with in danger. The only thing that stopped me in my tracks was when I looked up to find Kitty standing a few feet in front of me, frozen in place. My body began locking up and I was put under the same paralysis from the shock of being put on a battlefield against your best friend._

_When she saw the tears running down my face she knew she hadn't lost me forever. And when she mouthed the letters BFF to me I knew that I hadn't lost her either._

_One of Magneto's mindless minions came running towards us, his eyes fixed on Kitty. His name was Juggernaut. His power was overwhelming strength and the ability to build up unstoppable momentum. It was obvious. He was big enough that he was instantly given away as a mutant. The giant metal helmet didn't help either._

_Juggernaut fell flat on his face when I inflicted his entire body with my strongest paralysis. I knew it wouldn't be a permanent fix, but if I pushed it any harder I would pass out. I nodded to Kitty and she took off towards the building, phasing into a wall and out of sight._

_"Fuck this!" I screamed. From that moment on, I knew which side I was on._

"Alcatraz?" I asked.

"Yeah…" She snuffed out her cigarette and turned to face me. "I never thanked you for that. If you hadn't given me that head start on him, I'd never have gotten Jimmy out of there alive."

"Please, I was just looking out for you. You don't have to thank me."

She paused. "Can I ask you something that may stir up more memories from a darker time?"

"Shoot." I put out my cigarette and flicked the butt away from the pond.

"How did you get John out of that place?"

I started to answer but then realized I had never even thought about it. I was so confused and scared and emotionally dilapidated that I wasn't conscious of my actions. I told her everything how I remembered it.

"When everyone started disintegrating and I knew that I wanted to get the hell away from Magneto, my first reaction was to find John. When I finally did he was laying on the ground half dead from the blow he took from Bobby. I guess it was the adrenaline rush that enabled me to physically move him from the center of battle to the backside of the building where we were completely alone and shielded enough to survive. He wasn't conscious and I was slowly losing my energy. I didn't know what was going to happen. The last thing I remember was feeling the wake of the most powerful mutant power I had ever felt. It was so intense I fainted, holding John and crying."

"Then what? How did you get out?" She questioned eagerly.

"I… don't remember. I came to wrapped up in John's jacket in a Waffle House booth. I never knew… John saved _me_." I was overwhelmed by this new memory playing like a movie in my head. "He carried me all the way there. I passed out again not but a few minutes after I had woken up in that smoky diner. Then he carried me all the way back here."

"I don't understand his tactics. He saves your life, brings you back to the only place you two have thought of as home, and then keeps treating you the way he did when you were still in the Brotherhood. Like shit."

"He probably didn't think I'd remember any of it."

"He probably didn't want you to. The whole life saving thing is a characteristic of a nice person and he just doesn't want to be that guy."

"Shit has been so crazy for a long time. I really hope that everything will go back to normal now."

"I'm sure everything is going to work itself out for you. I mean, you can only get dealt a bad hand for so long before you get a taste of the good."

I nodded in agreement, but I was really just hoping we hadn't jinxed ourselves by saying it could only get better from here.

We got up and I put my guitar strap across my shoulder and let my guitar hang at my back.

We started walking across the long green stretch to the back door that leads right into the stairwell.

"You wanna know how I really get Captain Morgan to be so well trained?" I asked, sticking my hands into my front pockets.

She rolled her eyes. "How?"

"I can communicate telepathically with birds. It's my other, other mutant power." I gave her an intense stare and nodded slowly.

"Oh shut the fuck up." Kitty said through a fit of laughter. She pushed me playfully and called me a dork.

"Oh don't even. You just watch, next time I see a pigeon I'm gonna tell him to shit in your hair."

She shook her head and snickered at me. "You are just as weird as that damn duck."

As we ascended the staircase I took off running up the stairs while yelling, "I'll race you!"

By the time Kitty had gotten to the top of the stairs I was already back in our room.

"I win!" I exclaimed in a high pitched voice.

She sarcastically acted excited for a second before she turned away and pulled on her jacket. She bent down on her hands and knees and reached under her bed and pulled Lockheed out, who stretched and yawned before taking his usual spot across Kitty's shoulders.

"I'll see you in the danger room." She saluted me and marched out of the room, slamming the door behind her.

"And she thinks I'm a dork?" I said out loud to myself. I also laughed at my own cliché joke. Then I got embarrassed and took off to Art Class.


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer**: I don't own any characters except Ellie. The song Don't You Dare is by Alexz Johnson. I only wish I was good at writing songs.

Hey pervy people, enjoy this chapter. There's some good ol' fashioned naughty time.

**Chapter Seven**

By the end of the month my ribs had healed enough to stop bandaging my abdomen. To celebrate, I was in the gym running on a treadmill with my iPod headphones in my ears. I was dressed in my workout clothes, a black sports bra and black basketball shorts.

Also in the gym was Jubilee, also running, Piotr, squatting a very large barbell, and John, who wasn't exercising at all. He was just sitting in a chair in front of the treadmill I was on.

I moved my gaze from the TV screen on the wall to meet his eyes, which were meeting my chest. "John," I paused, pulling the headphone from my right ear, "Are you watching my tits bounce?"

He continued to stare and a huge, toothy grin spread across his face. "Guilty."

"This is a gym, you know. It is a place of personal fitness. Why don't you move the stair master over here and get some exercise while you're ogling." I suggested.

"I took a jog just this morning." He said, leaning back and spreading his legs to get comfortable.

"That doesn't count. You were just trying to escape from the wrath of Wolverine." Earlier that day, John had splattered Logan's freshly waxed motorcycle with the remainder of his chocolate pudding from the cafeteria. Just to be a dick, he said.

"Well, it's a Saturday and I've had my fill of boob for the day, so I'm going to head upstairs and watch some TV." He stood up from the chair and I leaned over the front of the treadmill to kiss him. Just as he was exiting the room, Kitty waltzed in, holding Lockheed in one arm.

"El, how the hell are you running when you're on your period? I'm dying right now and it's only been a day."

Due to our extended interaction, our periods had synced up.

"I haven't started yet, plus I've gained a few pounds, so I need to run it off." I turned off the machine and grabbed the towel hanging off the handlebar, using it to wipe the sweat off of my face. "After I do sit-ups I'll be done and we can do whatev."

"Actually, I've been jonesing for a Speed match and Logan picked me up a new pack of cards yesterday."

"Really now?" I asked, lying down on my back on a blue mat.

Kitty set Lockheed down beside her and kneeled down with her knees on my feet then placed her elbows on my knees. "Yeah. The picture on the back of the cards is a smiling macaroni noodle." She rested her head in her palms and a look of adoration graced her face. It was for the smiling macaroni noodle, I assure you.

After I finished 75 sit-ups, I went into the locker room and showered off. Upstairs in our room, I changed clothes while Kitty smoked a cigarette, leaning out of the window.

I put on my black hoodie over a red She Wants Revenge shirt, paired with light colored, denim jeans and black house shoes.

"Let's go to the common room." Kitty said, putting Lockheed down and watching him scurry under the bed.

The common room consisted of a fairly large television against the wall, to the left of the door, with two couches and a large armchair parallel to it. On the right side of the room was a table surrounded by four chairs and two large bookshelves next to each other against the wall. In the center of the room was a small coffee table.

There was a news show on the TV. Logan and Kurt were sitting on different sides of one couch and John was sprawled out on the other. Jubilee was curled up in the arm chair reading a book.

Kitty and I sat in chairs on opposite sides of the table. She shuffled the deck three times and laid out the cards for a game of Speed. I smiled at John and he winked at me before looking back to the TV.

I neatened the stack of cards in front of me and drew five of them.

"Go." Kitty said quickly, reaching for one of the cards in her hand.

As good as she was at the game, I was a lot better due to frequent practice for, pretty much, my whole life. My brother and I used to play for hours at a time.

I beat Kitty four times before she admitted defeat and went off to find Warren.

The room was now empty, aside from John, who was still watching the news program.

"Scoot." I said to John. He made room for me on the couch and I laid down next to him. His hand slid across my waist and he planted a kiss on my neck. "You never watch the news." I stated.

"They're talking about Alcatraz. This new group surfaced claiming they still think all of the Brotherhood should pay for what happened. Apparently they want to pass a bill requiring every member of the Brotherhood who survived the attack to be tried and sent to prison, possibly executed."

"That'll never happen." I turned over so we were face to face. "We're safe here. Even if it did pass, they'd never find us. This is the last place they'd look for members of the Brotherhood."

He let out a sigh. "I guess I'm just paranoid. I have this constant feeling that everything I did, that we did, is going to come back to haunt us. You believe in Karma, Ellie. Don't you feel like we're going to have to pay for what we've done?"

I ran my fingers down his cheek and smiled. "Let's go outside. You just need to relax and clear your head."

He reluctantly agreed and we walked down the hall to my room. I grabbed my guitar and we took the staircase exit to the courtyard. John followed me to the empty gazebo and I sat cross-legged on the bench inside. He sat next to me and leaned back.

"Play me something happy."

"I can do that." I inhaled deeply and plucked one string, letting the note play out, "_Welllllllllll_," I giggled and started playing, "_There's a hole in the bottom of the sea. There's a hole in the bottom of the sea. There's a hole, there's a hole, there's a hole in the bottom of the sea."_ I played the beginning again, only faster. "_There's a log in the hole in the-_"I was cut off my John's hand covering my mouth.

"Something a little less gay." He chuckled.

I was about to start playing another ridiculous children's song, but the PA system came on to an announcement from Storm. "This is Headmistress Munroe. Due to the loss of some of our beloved instructors a few months ago, we have been forced to make some new changes to the teaching staff. Dr. Hank McCoy will now be the on-call doctor, in addition to teaching the science courses, Professor Logan will now be overseeing combat training, as well as teaching art. I will be teaching Power Development. Professor Kurt Wagner has agreed to stay and will continue to be the history and social studies teacher. We have had to hire two new staff members. Mr. Warren Worthington will be taking over the math classes for me and Ms. Emma Frost will be teaching language arts. There is a list of the classroom numbers in the cafeteria. These changes will be in effect as of Monday morning. Be sure to check the list before then."

"What do you want me to play?" I asked when the speakers had gone silent.

"Play a song about me. I know you must have written one at one point." He raised his eyebrows and gave me a sly look.

"Yeah well no one loves you more than you." I said as I rolled my eyes.

He made a pouty face and said, "Pleeeeeeease," but I only replied with a sigh. He smiled and pushed my damp, wavy hair out of my eyes, resting his hand on my cheek and meeting my gaze intently. "Your songs are beautiful. I want to hear one that was influenced by the mistakes I made after we left. Please, Ellie. Just do this for me."

"You hurt me, John... badly. I don't want you to take it the wrong way."

"I know I hurt you. I want to hear how it made you feel. I regret everything I did. We were both manipulated because I ran away trying to find something to make me feel complete. But that thing, the thing that completed me, ended up being there, following me wherever I went. I just didn't realize it until I thought I'd lost you forever." His voice sounded sincere, and his eyes were staring holes in me.

I thought for a minute about what he had said, and I realized which song I should play. Don't You Dare. I took a deep breath and started plucking along through the chords. "_Dark cloud moving in, just one fall of rain would wash away, wash away the pain. Just one ray of sun to warm my skin and rid me of the cold you're drowning in. I could say that I don't care, but the truth is I'd follow you anywhere. I've been waiting such a long, long time. Don't you dare change your mind. It seems so close to me, but still beyond my reach, calling me, and playing hide and seek. Look behind that door. I'm the one you've been searching for, and I'm not a little girl anymore. I could say that I don't care, but the truth is I'd follow you anywhere. I've been waiting such a long, long time. Don't you dare change your mind. Don't wander around looking for someone to replace me. Don't wander around wasting the rest of your life. Don't wander around waiting for someone else to save you, and don't you make the same mistake twice. I could say that I don't care, but the truth is I'd follow you anywhere. I've been waiting such a long, long time. Don't you dare change your mind. I could say that I don't care, but the truth is I'd follow you. I've been waiting such a long, long time. Don't you dare change… your mind."_ I choked down the lump that started to form in my throat and faked a smile. I felt my stomach knot up, nervous about how he would react.

His brow was furrowed and he looked confused. He opened his mouth, but no words came out, only a sharp exhale.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have..." I turned away and flipped my guitar over my back, letting it hang upside down against my back. "It was written to be played on the piano, not a guitar... I-" My words stopped falling out when I felt his fingers around my wrist.

"El, wait." He stood up quickly and pulled me back to him, into his arms. Grabbing my face with both hands, he pressed his lips into mine. I felt his teeth gently pull on my lower lip, and I let out a gasp.

"Oh, John," My voice came out as a whisper as tears welled up in my eyes, "you don't know what you do to me."

The feeling of his stubble scratching at my face, his breath on my ear and neck, steadily speeding up, his hand exploring my hips, sliding under the hem of my shirt, it was addictive. He was my drug now. It felt so right.

He grabbed my hand, leading me out of the gazebo, back into the staircase. By the time the door slammed behind us, his back was flat against the wall, and his hands were on my hips. He pulled me into him, leaving a trail of kisses up my neck. Against my chest, his heart was speeding up, beating faster and harder. His skin grew abnormally hot. His hand went to the back of my neck and grabbed my hair at the root. He guided my mouth to his and kissed me hard, inhaling deeply through his nose. His skin was growing hotter.

"John, turn it down. You're going to burn me."

His eyes closed and he exhaled slowly, his body temperature lowered. I felt it quickly cool. "I'm sorry. You make me lose my control."

When he pulled away, he started up the stairs, and I followed. We hurried through the hallway to my room, where I set my guitar down and kicked off my shoes while John shut and locked the door behind us.

I pushed John down onto my bed and straddled him, returning my lips to his. I felt his erection pressing against my crotch, pulsing and growing larger against me, and I wanted him more.

He pulled my hoodie off and threw it towards Kitty's bed, immediately going for my shirt, discarding it in the same fashion. His hands were still rubbing and exploring my figure, moving towards my chest. A moan escaped my mouth as his palms massaged my breasts. His fingers clasped around them, rubbing and fondling. He undid the clasp at the front of my bra, pushing the straps over my shoulders. I let it slide down my arms before dropping it to the floor.

With his hands clutching my upper arms, John turned over, pinning me on my back. I got his shirt off and undid his belt, yanking it out of his belt loops. Kissing down my neck, down my breasts, down my stomach, he stopped at my hips, unbuttoning my pants and tucking his fingers inside the waist of them. I bucked my hips upward to help him get them off.

Getting up from the bed, John got his pants off. Both of us were down to only our underwear. The visible outline of his manhood made me lose focus, my eyes fixed on it.

"I know it's pretty to look at, but I had another plan for what to do with it." A naughty sneer snuck across his face.

"I bet it's not the same as mine." I licked my lips and bit my lower lip, grinning seductively.

"Oh really? And what did you have in mind?" He took two steps toward me, his eyes were filling with lust.

I stood up from the bed and guided John around so that we had switched placed. I pushed him down on the bed and dropped to my knees, crawling up to him and positioning myself between his legs. When my tongue met his abdomen, he tensed up, and I felt his ab muscles against my tongue as it traveled up to his chest.

I pulled back, looking up at him, and I tucked my fingers under the elastic band of his boxers. He raised up so I could remove them, looking down at me. His mouth was open, and he was breathing slowly and deeply.

I wrapped my fingers around his penis, running my thumb up and down. I lowered my mouth to it, teasing the head with my tongue. John's skin started to heat up, but I didn't care. With my lips covering my teeth, I moved my mouth up and down, using my tongue to play with the shaft.

His moans were loud and passionate, driving me to go faster, using one hand to massage the bottom half of his dick. I couldn't fit the whole thing in my mouth, even after I numbed my throat and took all that I could.

The lunch bell resonated from the hallway. John was close already. I felt the veins throb against my fingers and tongue. With my mouth around the head of his penis, I massaged it with my tongue, and he cried out in pleasure as my mouth filled with warmth, the veins throbbing three times before it stopped.

"Shit." He said, breathing quickly and collapsing onto his back.

I swallowed the warm semen filling my mouth and went to the bathroom to brush my teeth. When I exited the bathroom John was back in his boxers, leaning against the pillows at the end of my bed.

"Now I must know, just recently deflowered girl, where the hell you learned to do that?" He ruffled his hair and stood up in front of me, wrapping his arms around me. The warmth of his bare skin against mine made me feel good. Happy. Safe.

I smirked at him and said, "You think guys are the only ones who watch porn?"

-

Leave reviews, please. I always love to hear what you have to say.

Unless it's mean and you're a flamer. Then you can just sod off, fucker.


End file.
